Despite my flaws, Connection is an area where I feel I shine. Maybe it’s because my sun sign is Cancer, but I thrive on people feeling welcomed, happy and appreciated. Having said that, this isn’t a lesson to skip. Someone once told me that I put up walls for certain people, and that’s something to work on.

Who are those people that I don’t let my connection trait shine for?

I’m an incredibly shy person. I used to hate admitting that, but coming to terms with it has helped me grow. I tend to connect with other shy people, I also tend to connect with people who I can relate to, even if it’s the most minute detail. I’m a relator according to StrengthsFinder, after all. What my introversion has taught me is that it can be difficult to get to that minute detail that helps me and said person can find that connection.

Without revealing too much, there’s a former co-worker whom I wasn’t seeing eye-to-eye with. I wondered why he/she was always fighting me. This person and I finally had a 1:1 phone conversation and I found out they were a fan of a TV show that I adored. There was no radical shift in anything else about our relationship, but that little detail made me (and hopefully them) feel like we were on the same team. Ever since then, our relationship improved dramatically.

So what’s in this convoluted lesson? We’re more alike than different. Give yourself the space to find what that thing is. Connections are only made when you find…a connection. Allow yourself to have conversations about things that aren’t strictly related to work, let yourself be vulnerable (but not too much), and be a good human, which I hope isn’t too hard.

Next lesson…Charisma. Oh boy.

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