When I was 24, I was laid off from my first corporate job in account management. It was devastating, but it taught me very early in my career not to tie my personal worth to my job. Luckily, I quickly found a new job and continued down my account management career path – one which was unfulfilling, but paid the bills.
Fast forward to 26, with the boldness that being laid off had ignited within me, I quit my job, moved to San Diego and became a digital marketing intern. That was the very impetus of this blog – laying on my air mattress, trying to make head or tails of what I’d just done and whether or not it was the right choice.
Turns out it was…I’d soon climb the ranks at Fortune 500, then Fortune 100 companies…but with that ascent, my identity started to become tied to the companies I’d worked for. I was the friend who worked at Sony, then the friend that worked as Amazon.
Shortly before I left Amazon, I had an identity crisis. My life over the past decade had been built around being a marketing expert, enhanced by the names of the companies I’d worked for, and not much more. In that time, motherhood had entered my life…something that should have changed my mindset, but I had kept on with my myopic focus on becoming a titan in the field.
Towards the end of my tenure at Amazon, I started mentoring more often and realized I wanted to focus less on charging through life with the end goal of my tombstone saying “Here lies a Marketing professional who worked at these well-known brands” and more focused on what my actual goal was. As my manager at the time said “it sounds like you’re trying to find your purpose with a capital P.”
Until then, I’d never considered what my Purpose was. Like most other people, I’d been trapped in the work, eat, sleep cycle, blinded to the bigger picture of whatever all of this is. I think that’s around the time I started a lot of my studies into the subjects I discuss in the blog now. Knowing that tying purpose to my career, for me at least, was short-sighted. My output for another entity is not my purpose. Tying my worth to my association with another entity is not my purpose. Do I enjoy my work? Yes. Is it the thing that I want to by eulogized about? No. When someone asks what I do now, I no longer am out to prove myself by starting with “I lead xyz and do abc”. I just say I work in marketing. What I “do” is much greater.
Have you ever thought to think about your Purpose? What gets you up in the morning if it weren’t for the auto-pilot of life?
We’re all multi-faceted people and I believe that each of us were brought here for a reason. We deserve to wake up from the cycle that we’re stuck in and find our true selves. I’m currently listening to The Power of Myth and there’s a quote that applies here: “To change the world, you must be alive yourself.” Doing what makes you feel alive is half the battle in finding your Purpose.
Do I know my Purpose? I’m getting there. The more I meditate and journal the more I learn about myself. The more I blog, and the more I meet people from all around the world, the more I learn about the Collective and that the struggles that we all face are universal, regardless of race, religion or any other construct that divides. I believe my Purpose may be to bridge that gap. How? Each day is one step closer to figuring it out.
My advice to help finding your Purpose from one imperfect person to another? Invest in self-study. Knowing thyself and waking up from the cycle is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. Journaling has been helpful for me — it’s content creation at its simplest form. And because it’s for your eyes only, you can journal about absolutely anything that’s on your mind. The nice side effect is that writing gets the noise out of your brain and onto paper, freeing up valuable real estate.
Finding Purpose isn’t about having all the right answers, it’s about asking the right questions. Journaling often uncovers trends about my thinking that sends me down rabbit holes. Maybe it will do the same for you, maybe you’ll find a different method that works better for you.
Ultimately, your journey is your own. I just hope I can provide a spark of inspiration.
Explore the Youniverse 
Ashley! This was such a thoughtful and well-written reflection on purpose. Wanting to achieve and be exceptional at whatever we do is perfectly normal and fine, but capitalism constantly reinforces that our self-worth depends on how much we can produce. And if we fall short, then we’re not valuable. It’s a total scam!
Over the years, I’ve come to define my purpose as making the people around me feel heard. In some ways, I get to do that in my job, but more importantly, I get to do that in my day-to-day with the community I’ve built and continue to intentionally nurture. It sounds like a pretty basic purpose, but I’ve found it to be very grounding.
Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your posts and seeing where your journey takes you.
Thank you for commenting. You’re right, our self-worth being tied to output is a total scam. I just wish I realized years ago!
It sounds like you’ve found balanced which I think many of us our striving towards. Please continue to follow and share your expertise with us!